ME

I never had the career I wanted, for many reasons.  Discouraged by teachers, distracted by love and then disarmed by circumstances.  I made do and then my children came along and I juggled being a mum with being a work at home to support a business venture.  I cooked, cleaned, wiped away tears, taxied to and fro in between phone calls, accounts, homework, housework and bedtime.  I wiped nosesies, tickled toesies, played your games, gardened, ironed, started work again, listened to woes, lost boyfriends, unhappy customers, sickness, moans and smiles, struggled along with little money and loads of ‘not good enough’ mixed with ‘you’re great, keep smiling’.   Now these things are done.

Today, is my first real job interview in the outside world for 27 years.  I am 53 and I would like to do something in my last 10-15 years of working life that suits me, that isn’t a work around for someone or something else.  It may not be the all singing, dancing, good-salary paying job that I wanted so long ago.  But it will be something that I have chosen to do and something that interests me.  It may not involve any of my current talents or capabilities as everyone is so quick to point out to me at every opportunity “you could do better than this, you are hugely talented”.

Yes I could, yes I could have done 30 years ago, yes I love writing, yes I love Art, yes I love space and science, yes I love gardening, yes I love astronomy, yes I love making things.   Now my talents are my hobbies and I enjoy them more that way.   It stops me from the massive regrets of not pursuing them harder when I became so distracted with other things and just getting by and carrying on regardless.  This may be a hard concept to grasp and any job I take may not be 9-5 and fit around anyone else.  Now is my time to shine.  Now is my time to do something else.  Now you are all on your own.  My support hasn’t ended, it has just been diminished whilst I pick up what is left of myself.

Some will understand, some will throw their hands up in horror and some will just give me a hard time regardless.  Some will not even bother to read this.

Let me be me.

Anyone feel like unfriending or unfollowing me?  Go ahead...make my semi-centennial.

Anyone want to leave a crass comment?  Be my guest but be warned I’m capable of blocking and reporting mass-spam, hate inciting, religious freaks on Twitter and getting them shutdown, I can extend it to nutters anywhere else too.

Anyone want to be kind, thoughtful, happy and supportive here?   Welcome to my world, come in and have a seat.

To all the employers and jobs that I applied to on the Indeed website and received a response, thank you for your time.

To all the employers and jobs that I applied to on the Indeed website that couldn't be bothered, thank you for reminding me of the losers in this world.

I will be at Stansted Airport most of lunchtime being interviewed, if you've missed the opportunity to speak with an extremely talented woman, there is still time and I can be contacted on social media quite easily.

My mind may not be made up on a single job position today, but my mind is made up on one thing:  This is MY life, my choices, my way.